GRUDGE MATCHBREWING
Battle of the Big Hair
Hannah says Heather's hair is “all volume, no hold.” Heather says Hannah's hair can't headbang. Front-row fans should bring earplugs.
WOMEN'S PRO WRESTLING · EST. 1987
G.L.A.M.
GORGEOUS LADIES OF ANARCHY AND MAYHEM
Forty of the toughest, roughest ladies in the world answered the Commissioner's call. Only 32 make the bracket. Only one walks out with the first-ever G.L.A.M. Championship.
NEXT BROADCAST: SATURDAY 8:00 PM
GLAM SLAM '87: 40 SIGNED. 32 SPOTS.WRESTLE-IN NIGHT: 16 NAMES IN A HAT. 8 GO HOME.THE COMMISSIONER SWEARS THE DRAW IS 100% RANDOMTHE G.L.A.M. CHAMPIONSHIP IS VACANTCOMMISSIONER MANNY MAYHEM: “GET USED TO IT.”NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE MASKED MARVEL ISREF RONNIE ASKS FANS TO STOP MAILING HIM HOT DOGSMA'S LAWN CHAIR IS NOT FOR SALEPORK CHOP IS NOT ON THE MENUTAD IS FINE. TAD IS ALWAYS FINE.
THE TOURNAMENT
GLAM SLAM ’87
Commissioner Manny Mayhem put out the call for the toughest, roughest ladies in the world. Forty showed up. The bracket only holds thirty-two.
- 40SIGNED UP
A month of applications, a mountain of mail, and one very excited Commissioner.
- 8 TOO MANYTHE SQUEEZE
Bribes. Threats. The Commissioner couldn't pick fairly, so he's leaving it to a hat. Mr. Feathers wanted the job.
- THE DRAWWRESTLE-IN NIGHT
Manny pulls sixteen names out of a hat for eight one-on-one matches in the old ring. Win and you're in. Lose and you go home.
- 32THE BRACKET
Five rounds. Thirty-one matches. No byes, no refunds.
THE PRIZE
The G.L.A.M. Championship
VACANT
BAD BLOOD
The bracket isn't even drawn yet, and the locker room is already a mess.
GRUDGE MATCHBREWING
The Boombox Repo
Rita says the Aerobi-Queen's boombox was only leased. Tad disagrees, silently.
GRUDGE MATCHBREWING
Ticket War
Parking tickets vs. deli tickets. Somebody's getting a number, and somebody's getting fined.
ALLIANCE?RUMOR
Ticket and Tow
One writes the ticket, the other tows the car. Partners, right up until they want the same car.
MEET THE 40
Every woman who answered the call. Tap a wrestler for her full profile.
VILLAINThe Aerobi-Queen
“No pain, no gain. YOUR pain… MY gain!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEBig Barb the Butcher
“Take a number.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEBig Rig Ruby
“Breaker 1-9, you're going DOWN!”PROFILE →
VILLAINBiker Bonnie
“Eat my dust.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEBlack Belt Brenda
“Class is in session.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEDisco Dottie
“Disco never died. It was just WAITING.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEDoppler Debbie
“100% chance of PAIN.”PROFILE →
VILLAINDr. Dentina
“Open wide… this won't hurt a bit.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEFive-Alarm Fiona
“Stop, drop and ROLL!”PROFILE →
VILLAINHairspray Hannah
“Nothing moves this hair. Nothing moves ME.”PROFILE →
VILLAINHead Nurse Hilda
“Visiting hours are over.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEHeavy Metal Heather
“Too loud? You're too OLD!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEHigh Score Holly
“Insert coin.”PROFILE →
VILLAINIRS Irene
“You've been AUDITED.”PROFILE →
VILLAINJilted Jilly
“Speak now… or forever hold your PAIN.”PROFILE →
VILLAINLady Luck Lola
“The house always wins, honey.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITELifeguard Lori
“You're in over your head.”PROFILE →
VILLAINLove-Love Lacey
“Love means NOTHING.”PROFILE →
VILLAINMadame Zora
“I saw that coming.”PROFILE →
VILLAINMagnolia Mae
“Bless your heart.”PROFILE →
VILLAINMall Princess Mindy
“Charge it!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEThe Masked Marvel
“Nobody knows… and nobody ever will.”PROFILE →
VILLAINMimi the Mime
Never speaks. She zips her lips, throws away the key and blows the crowd a kiss.PROFILE →
VILLAINMiss Demeanor
“You're in a no-standing zone.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEPom-Pom Peggy
“Ready? OK!”PROFILE →
VILLAINPrima Donna Dominique
“Curtain call, darling.”PROFILE →
VILLAINProm Queen Paula
“Bow to your queen.”PROFILE →
VILLAINRepo Rita
“You missed a payment, sweetheart.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITERodeo Rhonda
“Yeehaw, y'all.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITERoller Derby Roxy
“Roll with it!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEShushing Shirley
“Silence… is golden.”PROFILE →
VILLAINSoap Star Celeste
“Tune in tomorrow… if you DARE.”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITESpecial Delivery Delilah
“Return to SENDER!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITEStrike-Out Sherry
“STEE-RIKE!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITESweet Tooth Suzie
“Who wants a scoop?!”PROFILE →
FAN FAVORITETimber Tina
“TIMBER!”PROFILE →
VILLAINValley Girl Val
“Gag me with a suplex!”PROFILE →
VILLAINVideo Vixen Vicki
“Is the camera on me?”PROFILE →
VILLAINWall Street Wendy
“Buy low. Slam HIGH.”PROFILE →
VILLAINThe Widow Winters
“'Til death do us part.”PROFILE →
THE MAN IN CHARGE
COMMISSIONER MANNY MAYHEM
Five foot two, big dreams, bigger suits. Manny came home from Miami with one cardboard box and talked his Uncle Bucks into handing him the keys to G.L.A.M. The only catch: Mr. Feathers the cockatoo helps run the place.
TAPES COMING SOON
Every GLAM SLAM ’87 match gets its own tape, starting with Wrestle-In Night. Keep your VCR plugged in.
BROUGHT TO YOU IN MAYHEMVISION
THE CREW
Everybody who runs the show, calls it, films it, sweeps up after it and sells hot dogs at it. Plus one front-row fan, and one guy who wants it gone.
Commissioner Manny Mayhem
COMMISSIONER
Five foot two, big dreams, bigger suits. He runs G.L.A.M. and GLAM SLAM '87.
Uncle Bucks McAllister
OWNER
Won the company in a poker game years ago and never opened the mail. Gave his nephew one shot, with one condition.
Mr. Feathers
THE CONDITION
Uncle Bucks's white cockatoo, now involved in the day-to-day running of the company. Turns up in a new costume every show. Somehow Uncle Bucks always knows what happened.
Chet Larkin
PLAY-BY-PLAY
Used to host a local TV bowling show, so he calls every hold in bowling terms. “Folks, I have NEVER seen anything like it.”
Iron Irma
COLOR COMMENTATOR & TRAINER
Wrestled in the 1950s and thinks everyone today is soft. Runs all 40 through drills every morning. “In MY day...”
Dale
PROMO INTERVIEWER
Powder-blue tux, silver microphone. Every wrestler humiliates him. He now brings a towel.
Desiree the Director
MAYHEMVISION DIRECTOR
Runs the MayhemVision truck and yells “CUT!” at live TV. “...Wait, we're LIVE?”
Gus the Camera Guy
MAYHEMVISION CAMERAMAN
Always backing into things. A flying wrestler lands on him at least once a show. “Did you get that? ...I didn't get that.”
Gloria at the Front Desk
FRONT DESK
Snaps her gum, sorted all 40 applications and knows everything before Manny does. “G.L.A.M., please hold.”
Moose the Bouncer
SECURITY
Six-foot-eight and afraid of nothing except Mr. Feathers. Hides behind Manny whenever the bird squawks. “Is the bird out?”
Fabrizio the Hairstylist
HAIRSTYLIST
Buys hairspray by the case. He and Hairspray Hannah are best friends or mortal enemies, depending on the day. “Higher! The hair must be HIGHER!”
Earl the Janitor
JANITOR
Has had the gym key since the old SLAM days. Knows every secret in the building and mumbles warnings nobody hears. “I've seen worse. ...No I haven't.”
Ref Ronnie
REFEREE
Always eating a hot dog, so he misses every pin and every cheat.
Tad
AEROBI-QUEEN'S SPOTTER
Carries her boombox everywhere. Trips on the ring steps. Never speaks.
Pork Chop
BIG BARB'S PET PIG
Wears a little white apron and squeals happily at every act of violence. Not on the menu.
Ma
BIG BARB'S MOTHER
Heckles everyone from a ringside lawn chair. Scarier than Barb.
NOT YET ON CAMERA
Hook
REPO RITA'S TOW PARTNER
Huge, bearded, silent. A truck backup beep plays every time he walks backward.
Spike
HEAVY METAL HEATHER'S ROADIE
Skinny, mulleted and the band's only other member. Grabs Dale's mic to say “Check, one, two.”
Sal of Sal's Signs
SPONSOR
Painted the new G.L.A.M. sign in exchange for ads at every show, and reads them at the worst possible moments. “If you can read it, Sal made it!”
Hot Dog Herb
CONCESSIONS
Runs the hot dog stand and keeps Ref Ronnie stocked, which explains a lot. “Get 'em while they're hot!”
Nacho Ned
FRONT-ROW SUPERFAN
Front row center every show and always in the shot. Has been covered in nacho cheese more than once. “WOOOOO!”
Rex Ruckus
THE RIVAL PROMOTER
Runs a bigger, slicker wrestling outfit in the next town over and wants Manny to fail. “Nice little show, Manny. Shame if something happened to it.”
JOIN THE FAN CLUB
Print your official G.L.A.M. Fan Club card. Free forever. No refunds.